I'm enjoy my hunger, though. I haven't been following a diet or counting calories or weighing obsessively. Which means I probably have gained some. Gosh, I hope not. I'm in a "lose weight" contest. Maybe I'll just fast tomorrow. Make up for a shitty day today. I mean, who eats cheesecake and cupcakes when they're trying to lose weight? Obviously my fatass.
Crunches time because I just got done dancing. How many days until school is out? Ten more. I can't fast that long. I can't even do it for two days (fatfatfat). Maybe... Fast, 300, fast, 300, fast, 300, fast for this week. That's seven out of ten days. For the last three... 300, 200, 100, maybe? Sorry, I should think about this on my own time!
It's so hard to not cut now that I've told myself I can't. I haven't! Luckily! I have faded butterflies on my left wrist and hand and the word LOVE on my right wrist. It's hard to write it there because I'm right handed, but it's worth it because that's where I mainly cut. I really don't know why I like using my left hand to.
I think I've said this before, but I have tiny wrists. They're so cute.
Huh... I think I may put more bad writing on my other blog. Everyone should check this out at some point. I put some of my life in there that I don't manage to get into here. Also, I want FEEDBACK! Even if you're saying how bad my writing is (please explain why if you do!).
Alright, I'm going to type something up on there and then go to bed.
WAIT, WAIT!! Comment!
Thanks you, Lottie! I need as many people thinking I can so that I actually believe it's possible!
Your plan for te next 10 days sounds good - good luck!
ReplyDeleteIthink writing on yourself instead of cutting is a really good idea and I know you can give up cutting :)
Just read your last post on your other blog and I really like your writing style - it's exciting :)
Stay strong,
Lottie x
As a recovered self-harmer, I just wanted to send a little encouragement your way.
ReplyDeleteEvery day that you resist the urge to cut, the easier it will get. It's difficult at first, but find distractions and learn a new way to get your emotions out, instead of harming yourself. Writing on yourself seems like a nice idea and if you're feeling particularly overwhelmed by the urge, an old tooth brush can be a good thing. I was recommended to scrub my skin with an old toothbrush on days when I felt like I had to hurt myself, because ultimately, it's safer for you than cutting.
Don't give up trying. You can do it,
xxx