Saturday, November 19, 2011


Anyone heard of it?
I had my grandma buy it for me, and am super excited to play it tomorrow when A brings the xBox 360 back from his college.
I feel bad about having my grandma buy me a $60 game.
It just goes to show that my dad's right; my grandmother will buy me basically anything when I ask because I rarely ask.
I don't feel bad about taking A's xBox.
His roommate has a better one.
Now, on to the more...unfun stuff.
J.R. walked into the art room the other day.
I nearly started bawling my eyes out as I slapped glaze onto my broken coffin.
(sorry if I'm repeating) J.P. told me recently she did NOTHING to stop him from hurting me.
Now when I see him, I feel betrayed and lied to.
Because I was.
I shouldn't, I don't think, because she says that she would fix it if she could, she would make it all better, and that it really upsets her to think about it now.
But we saw J.R. today. He's got a girlfriend, K.W., but got all pretend upset when J.P. didn't wave back at him. They don't even talk much.
Sooooo, I wanted to pull her close and say something nasty to him.

I have a comment, which hit me as odd because I've been gone over nine thousand years and am a whale again.
Hi, Alice, I wish I had read your comment over and over and over and told myself that I could do this over and over. Now I'm a freaking whale. I can barely fit into my girlfriend's sweatshirt (which I wear a lot because, well, it smells like her). I'm glad you love my blog. I try to be just me here, so if you love it, that's great! Stay strong, stay beautiful! ^^

Have a good day everyone, whether it be just being happy or not eating a lot.

P.S. J.P. has banned me from starving myself (so I'll just do it without her knowing).

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Here I am, crawling back to you

Why, hello hello.
Let's start off with what I haven't blogged.
I'm dating j.P.
and have since Halloween.
...that's about it.
Today, I was hit with this awful feeling.
I'm about 150 again.
Remember, when I quit posting, I was about 128, thinking about hitting 120.
I felt incredible, I think.
Now....I'm a fat piggy who can barely fit into her size 3 jeans.
I wanna cry.
Recently, I've wanted to cut and not eat so much.
And then I don't cut.
And I eat.
And it hurts more than doing either of those things (or both of them!)
I deleted my thinspo because Anna and J.P. use my computer.
Now, I'm telling my girlfriend everything.
And it hurts because I know she'll keep me from not eating.
She's been down this road, so I should listen to her.
But I don't wanna.
I probably won't.
Tomorrow? I hope to not eat.