Eff it.

Now, I'm probably going to be screwed into shopping with just my mom. Why? My friend thinks that it's effing ingenious to go to Missouri the weekend of my birthday when for over a year we've had this whole thing planned. Apparently she wanted to go Thursday and Friday, but her sister planned something on Thursday.Still, she could've not gone. I know, that sounds selfish and blah, blah, blah, but it's my fourteenth birthday! You know, the year that everyone ACTUALLY sees you as a teen? Whatever, I'm NOT staying home even if it is that I have to go with JUST my mom. Mom's fun to shop with and that means I don't have to go to the stores my friend wants to go to... But it's always more fun when I have someone with me.
Positive news: My skinny jeans are falling off my butt. Heck yeah! I'm gonna finally get out of size nines! I've been in them since THIRD EFFING GRADE. I feel so light with joy. Let's hope that I'm AT LEAST a size 7 in my jeans by school.
OH OH! Last night, I made up some dumb excuse to sooth my friend's worry. I told her that I didn't wanna be that fat chick that everyone in the high school made fun of. Which isn't really true. I just, I dunno, it feels right to be hungry, starved. When I stretch completely out, I can see my ribs and I'm left thinking to myself, "I wanna see that ALL the time, not just when I'm stretching." It doesn't matter if no one else can see them, just so long as I can. I always imagine being that tiny girl that makes everyone wonder just where she gets that energy from.
Okay, I have this chocolate pie in my room. I'm surprised that every time I see it I don't get a sudden urge to eat it even though I love chocolate. Weirdd. Not that I would eat it anyway. Not with.430 cals and 190 fat calories.
I'm rambling now, but I mean, I'm just waiting for my brother to get home so we can leave for my doctor's appointment. To think, I was just going to rant about how my friend is leaving me and is gonna be gone the day of my birthday party. Guess I'll just have to have fun without her and then tell her just how much fun it was.
Haha, gonna go now.
TOODLES,
Ix