Thursday, March 17, 2011

Layin in bed, Half asleep

and I remember J.P. one time saying, "I was anorexic for a while, but that didn't work so I became bulimic." Even then I wanted to tell her they don't work like that. But what do I know? I don't have either. From what I understand is that with bulimia you binge which she never did. Ever. She just puked when she got stressed out and said it was her body's natural reaction. And from what I think I know about anorexia is it's harder to eat than it is not to. J.P. just didn't know how to eat healthy so there would be days she wanted to lose weight so she didn't eat.
For those of you wondering, there is no point to this post other than to say that anyone who doesn't have a problem shouldn't say they do and don't go out trying to get one. My life is a fuckin mess and depression lays really close to my surface anytime I pull myself away from people and I would NEVER wish this on anyone else (except J.R. but that ho is the only trigger for cutting and not eating I have and with more reason than I'm not his GF and so I'm depressed) because I realize how bad it is. It hurts, I'm cold and I feel sick. Yeah, maybe I'm a hypocrite because I enjoy all those things half the time, but it's not something I hope anyone else has to deal with. Yeah, I support those DEAD SET on this, but I also have loads of support for those who aren't.
I'm done ranting. Sorry that one memory made me flip out soo much.

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