Avril Lavigne and more nonsense

Avril is beautiful and she may not be the tiniest girl ever, but seeing her new music video was an instant trigger for me. She looks tiny and fit and...beautiful. Maybe because when I was little Avril's style was something I tried to copy. She's beautiful and I could go on and on about how she's just my inspiration to lose all this fat, but I'll quit there.
I have also been looking up Asian fashion. Totally inspiration for me, buttt~ it looks more normal. Gosh, pretty people just amaze me.
May I admit something to you? I've been avoiding the wiifit, going through dramatic mood swings, and just feel like I'm going crazy. That's mainly why I haven't done a "proper" post. With the wiifit, I'm scared that I gained weight and I dun wanna see it as a number. I already see it as pudge. Maybe I'll drag myself onto it tomorrow?
The mood swings could be from starting one medication and stopping another one. About a week a part. The mix of the drugs was making me feel like I wasn't sleeping at night which, as a high school student, is not a good thing. So since the old one wasn't helping any (it was for my headaches) I just stopped taking it. I know they say not to do that, but for the first day I felt amazing and just spazzed out about everything. It was AMAZING. Now, I'm kinda cranky. Less than I was on both pills, but still very cranky. Maybe if I actually did something I would feel better. But all of this makes me feel like everything is falling apart. I feel like cutting more. Heck, I put my razor in the back of my phone so I would have it on me at school. J.R. being around makes me tense and very anxious and I get the flight or fight response, only I wait for him to make the first move so I don't look like a complete idiot. The fact that he freaks me out so bad just because of a few messages over the internet may say that originally I was mentally weak, but I was very happy. Oh well, I think I'm gonna grab my old pills, find out what they do at a higher dose and if it's anything desirable, I'll hide them away somewhere in my room until it all runs out and then, well, I'll just be out of those. Yes, I'm starting to realizing that I'm screwed up.
Alright, toodles.