115

J.P. says she's willing to keep me on track to 115. That's a BMI of 18.6. 114 would be 18.4 and she is not willing to allow me to go underweight. Though I'm sure that once I'm to 115 dropping to 114 and not telling her will be easyy. Don't ask, I'm more than slightly obsessed with that number. It's because I'm scared of being overweight. It dominates parts of me. When I pick up what types of food. I'll never be able to tell you why, though I say it's so I'll have some control. To be honest, I don't care if I'm fantasticly skinny, I could deal with being average, but there's almost a complete desire to lose weight and get to 114 or 115 or whatever.
I told my L.S. how worthy of food she is. Hypocrisy? Perhaps, but that's just how I am normally. Telling others how great and full of worth they are while silently suffering from hunger, newer cuts, silent screams. She's chubby, I'll admit that, but she's a very pretty red head even if she is chubby. She looks like she's fifteen with a past she doesn't wanna admit. Yet she's one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Right next to J.P. who also seems amazing even though she can be completely cruel.
Lovely, I am going to bed.

Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.
Sidney J. Harris