Try going through life feeling alone

I'm sure most of us have had a few days where we feel totally by ourselves even if we aren't. I'm a selfish brat. I'm such a selfish brat that I'm mad my friend spent an hour and ten minutes more with her "boyfriend" then she did with me, her supposed-to-be best friend. I'm such a selfish brat that realizing this makes me want to curl up on the floor and start crying. I'm sch a selfish little brat that I wait quite a few minutes to reply to her text messages. Yeah, I'm pretty set on letting you guys know I'm a total selfish little brat.
I told myself I wasn't getting back on here, but I'm so sick of feeling alone, so here I be.


Edit- 7/29/10 11:40ish
I'm that kid who smiles, but under all that they're a wreck. Under that they're screaming. Under that, they're crying. Under that they're seething mad...still. Under that...they are pleading for a way out or a safety net to catch them when they jump.
When I'm with people, I can be so happy, honestly, but when I get home...it all crashes down. I know this for sure..because I'm dealing with it now. I saw one of my best friends today. She gives awesome hugs. And I'm told I give awesome hugs, so when we hug, it's a mash of awesomeness. But that's not why I'm telling you about her. I saw her and a couple of her friends. We had a blast being...high schoolers in Wal-Mart, but on the way home, I realized how depressed I feel, what(and how much) I ate, and how much I hate that my "best" friend is with who she's with. Generally, I felt broken. Yep, I'm clingy with people, I think. That's why it scares me to think that I CAN date. I get too close to people is short amounts of time...but then I come and feel broken, not right. I asked my friend if she was alright. Man, I wish one of my friends would do that for me and then let me rant without it exploding to an argument.