I won't admit it to myself or them. First, it would mess everything up. Second, I think I would go crazy if I admitted it to myself. Any normal person would just let go for acting so nuts, but I just... can't.
I told J.P. I would hang out with her and J.R. (because she threw this fit about how she couldn't take it anymore) if she held my hand. A physical anchor, something I like close to offset how BAD I would feel. Know what she told me? She doesn't hold hands and I can either grow up and hang out with them or be immature and pout. You have to realize that before I went to geometry tutoring, he came up and I felt like I shattered, my stomach fell out, and J.P. would completely ignore me...so I left...and nearly started crying when I got to tutoring.
OK, I ate today. So none tomorrow. Pinkie promises.
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