I've gotten lovely comments (thank you, by the way) since I decided to hop back on, but I haven't bothered to get caught up on anyone's blog. Maybe I'll do that this weekend? Ok, so I told J.P. that I had cut...really, I did expect her to be upset. Something else was upsetting her, but that's not what hurts. What hurts is she made it obvious that it was an after thought and wouldn't tell me what was wrong. We're supposed to be best friends, but she won't tell me. I'm trying not rush to cutting, but I'm tired of feeling and it keeps me from feeling (emotionally, anyway). It's hard to ignore when it's screaming. Can it be the 14th so that my therapist can call me a bad girl? Funny, I've been going to this chick for close to two months and I haven't been this bad. She's seen me grin like nothing has touched me, heard me laugh without fear, and act as though everything is perfect...because that's how it was. Most people go uphill when they go see someone about their problems.
Ok, guess I'll try to get some sleep now. Sigh, I don't wanna because when I don't get enough sleep I can pretend to be bouncy easier. Oh well. Nightie night.
Sweet dreams sweetie. I know she's supposed to be your best friend, and it's not bad to care about her but she doesn't seem to be caring about you. Just keep in mind that a REAL friend would have cried if they knew you cut. They would try to find you help because they don't want to see you hurting. At any rate I'm proud of you for not running to the blade :) you're stronger than you think I know you can pull through <3 stay strong
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