Friday, August 5, 2011

Lately


I've been wanting to text one of you, anyone, just to feel like I'm not alone.
Lately, I've been fangirling about freaking Japanese bands. In fact, my EX has ticked me off nearly every night for a week just by saying they're "flaming homosexuals".
Lately, I have not been not-eating properly.
Lately, I've told more people than I mean to that I'm not eating right.
Lately, I've been wanting a fast. Just one. Just for...a week.
I told I.M. that "Everything's wrong, even though it's getting right."
Let me explain that. It means I'm "healthy" but I feel completely out of control. I feel like I'm falling. I need to go back to last year where I starved myself "healthy". I need to drop weight like THAT!
I'm scared. Really scared. Know what I do when I'm nervous? Forget how to eat. Which is good. Maybe then I'll regain some control.
Anyone want my number to text?
Just leave a comment and I'll post it in my next post. That post will only be up for 24 hours (maybe a little more, depending on whether or not I forget it). If you don't get it then, then just e-mail me.
You know, I sometimes wonder if my parents follow diet blogs, like ours, and will some day find my own....It kinda scares me.

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