Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I haven't been as good as I should

I'm still eating enough to maintain or even gain weight and it's scary and saddening. Every time I see my weight on the scale, I want to cry. I know that it's my choices. I know it's every little choice. I know that I'm a whale and I hate that. I know everything the doctor told me a few weeks back about losing weight (count every calorie, work out, go running/walking). I know all of it!
And yet I can't seem to actually do it. I can't seem to put it all into motion. Everyone's all "if you quit drinking soda, you'll lose weight." Wow! That's such a great tip! If, you know, I drank a lot of soda. I have a diet soda here and there, but not every day. And I still don't really trust regular soda.
It's just so hard. We have almost zero vegetables in the house. What we have in fruit is what my girlfriend and I have bought or had Mom buy.
What's worse is I'm eating like a pig and my hair is falling out. I never had my hair fall out when I was showing off all of my disorder eating habits. My hair is falling out, some times in small clumps, some times just one or two, but I worry so badly.
Gotta go.
LOVE,
Alex

1 comment:

  1. I've heard our hair reflects our health from several months prior (I can't remember exactly), so it can fall out unexpectedly if you weren't eating properly some time ago. Maybe it could be a vitamin/micronutrient issue if you're not getting much fruit & vege? I used to take a multivitamin for hair, skin and nail health - dunno if it ever really helped, but it could be helpful.
    Would frozen or canned veggies be more convenient? I use frozen 90% of the time these days.
    I'm sorry you're feeling so awful at the moment. I don't know what advice to give but I hope you feel better soon.
    <3
    xx

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