I found out why I liked my antidepressants

I get super grumpy when I eat little/don't eat.

With the antidepressants, they forced me to pretend I was ok.

It was beautiful.

No one but me got hurt.

No one but me knew.

I was always so happy.

It was beautiful and lovely.

I doubt anyone here would understand.

I could starve like I knew what the hell I was doing.

I could feel hungry and just sigh and think "Could be hungrier."

Now I get hungry and thing "EAT!! EVERYTHING!!" and then "No...I can't, must be thin."

It's horrifying.

I hate it.

I wanna be thin.