Friday, December 11, 2015

Long time no talk

I really need to start running. I need to start dropping pounds. I need to get back into the swing of my disorder again. I want to count my showing bones. I want to be sick. I don't know why. Everything is pretty good in life right now. Except that.
Also, I've been out of medication for about a month.
So that might be why.
My brain begins to obsess on some numbers. My good number is 114. That's what I feel like I need to be at to be happy. That's what I need to be at. I need to get back to 114. I don't know how to anymore though.
Much love,
Alex
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3 comments:

  1. BellaDecember 12, 2015 at 12:30 PM

    "I want to be sick. I don't know why."
    You want to be sick because you are sick. It's a symptom of the ED. For me, I think it's got to do with my physical appearance reflecting the internal suffering. I firmly believe that, regardless of diagnosis, there has to be something wrong to actively drive people to be sick.
    (I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way. No judgement, just concerned)

    Please try to talk to your doctor or at least get a new script... Sudden medication changes are no good.

    <3
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Elle MarieDecember 15, 2015 at 11:31 PM

    I have a lot of the same thoughts, it's nice to read them from someone else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AlexDecember 18, 2015 at 1:03 AM

      It's nice to have someone else who has the same thoughts!

      Delete

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