"Some Days Are Better Than Others"

Today I told Therapist #3 about how I'm trying to eat better, how that leads to counting calories, which leads to worrying when I get near 1000 calories.

Then I said that some days are better than others.

Really, it depends.

Not on how good or bad I feel.

No, it really depends on who I'm around, how much J.P. makes me feel like I should be eating, and how impulsive I'm feeling.

It doesn't bother me that I lied to her.

I had to courage to tell her.

She smiled at me, she's a nice lady, told me to not think about calories, but how good it is for my body.

I smiled back, said I'd try.

I really won't.

I wanna start ABC.

Or 24680

I need to exercise more.

I want to weigh myself.

The Wii says I'm about 149.

Be right back, I'll tell you guys what the scale says in a second.

It says 149, but I'm subtracting about two pounds for clothes.

So 147.

With my clothes on, I want to be back to 128/127.

Yeah, back to my lowest weight.

And lower.

To be honest, I want to be 114, but I know J.P. would never let me.

She'd yell at me to eat.

Tomorrow, I'm dying my hair.

Pink with red streaks.

I don't think that I'll eat, though, for the next couple of days.

I really need to lose this weight...