Take a deep, deep, DEEP breath.You'll need it.
This whole time, I thought I was a cute little 140 something.
Wrong.
Got a scale today (well, my dad did).
Guess who's a disgusting 156.6?
Guess who's now in the "overweight" range?
Yep, me.
Guess who also broke their two day fast at lunch today?
Me.
Oh, but I'm going to try again tomorrow.
That's all that counts.
Yeah, I just keep telling myself that and I'll be 160 pounds with a whole bunch of "tomorrows" built up.
But I'm gonna do it this time. I am. Really.
Still don't believe me?
Well, I'll do it.
I mean, 156.6 in clothes is a lot.
Sure, you could take away two pounds from it for clothes which puts me at 154.6, but who wants to have to take off pounds to make themselves feel better?
Not. Me.
Like, I wanna be that chick that you just stop and stare at.
I wanna be the chick you hold your breath as she walks by because you're scared that if you breathe, I'll be gone.
J.P. says that she's going to help me lose weight.
Also, I saw Miss Sam Lupin's comment on my other blog mentioning how I had unhealthy foods and would stay under the calorie limit I had set for myself.
I remembered it just by reading that little part. I remember sitting in my brother's truck with either Anna or J.P., taking little nibbles of sea salt dark chocolate. Laughing. At whatever was said. The fact that I could eat chocolate and be under. Life was good.
I wish I could go back to that.
I remember saying that I was starting to worry about myself.
I'd much rather be worried about myself than fat.
I've been really tired lately, so I haven't been getting up and exercising before school.
Really, I need to do that.
I'll try to break my fast with ninety calories of apple and yogurt goodness and see if I can't eat very low calorie foods the rest of that day. It'll be Saturday, so I'll be around all of the food in the house, so it'll be tempting to just go "FOOOOOOODDDD!!! MUST BE FATCOWUGLY!!!" I hope I can manage not to. I love lifting weights. At first I thought I would die because of waking up that early (around 5:45 instead of 6:45 like I used to) but the exercise actually helps wake me up. I love running so much. Probably more than I should. Even if I'm just running in place, I feel more free than just standing around. Also, bravo on running half of your "walk". Haha.
Alright everyone, goodnight!
well, babe. i was stuck for 156.6lbs from May to the beginning of Jan, so i understand your frustration. and we can totally lose more together. since our weights are close (i'm around 152-153lbs right now). :) stupid plateau. if i see 156.6 again, i might even shed tears. xD.
ReplyDeletedon't worry about it, love. overweight range or not. we can totally get down. <3 and i've always been in the overweight range. fucking BMI calculator.
and you can love. i wanted to read this blog once and forth. i actually used some aspects of your blog as inspiration for my fanfiction, so i know what you're capable of. :) so i do believe you.
yoghurt (protein) + apple (fibre) = good combo. :)
yes! exercise normally does make you feel more awake. and also, running has this 'i'm fading in the pain of my legs' sort of feel from what i know. i just like that i feel the rush. then i feel the pain and i can't handle the pain for long. ahahaha.
it was so boring. the walk. gaaaaaah. xD.
-Sam Lupin
goodnight! <3