She smiles like she's so tough.

Ran for twenty minutes.

Things with J.P. and I got better.

Then S.C. decided to watch a movie that begins with a rape.

J.P. was all jumpy because her ex-boyfriend tried many times to rape her.

So I called her.

Told her I loved her, which I think I do.

She said it helped a lot and now I can't stop smiling.

I've decided to not do two days of fasting this time.

I'm really hungry and I think that if I tried another fast, I'd go to J.P.'s house and binge.

So I will eat tomorrow.

When I weighed myself after my shower (an HOUR of exercise) I was 152.6 pounds.

I did an hour of exercise after school, probably about twenty in school. Now if only I could wake up early and get at least ten in before school. That would be beastly.

Ok, so, J.P. and I aren't very public about our relationship. We come from a small town in Illinois, if that gives any clue about why. If it doesn't let me say that when one of J.P.'s friend's sister decided to kiss her girlfriend on campus, it was like...a freak show, a circus. Something for people to watch, goggle at, be almost disgusted with.

Also, J.P. isn't very "OOOOHHHH I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP!!! EVERYONE MUST KNOWW!!!! SPAZZZZZZZ!!!!!" kind of person. If people know, woo. If not, that's chill too.

But she wants to hold my hand tomorrow, at school.

I'm excited and nervous.

We've been dating for over two months and the most public we've been is kissing in her kitchen when everyone else is in the living room.

Sure, we've cuddled on my couch while working together on a book we're trying to write (actually, I think she's kinda forgotten about it), but when I'm "in the zone" I don't like to be touched even.

I don't like to be touched, talked to, or have to look up from my writing. It takes me out of the world I am crafting, and thus I feel as though it would be less believable.

I'm getting off topic.

Which doesn't really matter because I should most definitely be in bed, asleep.

I've found that if I go to bed at 10:30 PM and wake up at 5:45 AM I don't feel like I'm gonna die.

Alright, Good night!!