Now, I wish I had puked instead of wussing out that way, if she had heard she would know I felt bad. Thanks, Mommy.

All I wanted to do was stay home and relax for a day, something I didn't get to do even during the weekend because I can FEEL myself panicking and feeling like shit mentally. All you're worried about is the school an getting in trouble with them. Well, I need to deal with this stress somehow, and since we can't do it in a healthy way, guess I get to cut the night before seeing my psychiatrist.
Now, you gals can see me as weak, but seriously I don't give a damn right now. I'm a weak bitch, I know this. And soon I'll be celebrating a year of cutting. The 20th of this month... Two days. Wow. In two days, I'll have been cutting for a whole year. Reading my journal from around that time makes me so dang sad. The days before I started cutting I was so depressed and then I started and there's a lot of laughing, yet paranoia that someone would find out.
Time to brush my teeth and cut open my flesh then head off to bed. Sounds fun. Maybe this way the stress won't kill me. Thanks again, Mommy.