I've made up my mind... Well, Maybe.

I'm gonna ask my crush out. Two of my friends told me that if I don't ask him out myself, they're gonna ask him out for me. I would rather suck it up and attempt to do it myself. Let's hope he says yes. I doubt he will, though. He doesn't really have an opinion about me because we don't know each other at all. I'm hoping he will say yes, though. It's been so long since I had a really fun relationship and I'm hoping that this will be one. Too bad one of my friends kinda thinks I like him and is obviously jealous. Too bad, kiddo. I liked him before you asked. Like, this friend of mine, W, pulled me into this tight, I'm-not-letting-go-even-if-you-struggle hug. Right in front of him. I did try to push away W, but I'm a wimp and don't have much muscle, so it didn't work. I really hope he doesn't think I'm dating W. That would make me upset.
We're 23 days apart in age. That's what Anna says anyway. He's twenty-three days older. He seems a lot older than that, though. Compared to me, everyone seems so mature. I'm little, immature. It doesn't help that, in the freshman class, I'm one of the youngest kids. Only three kids are younger than me, that I know of. All of them act older than I do. I guess it's because I feel like I have to keep up an act for all of my friends. A happy act.
That's why a few days ago, the day after L.G. moved, I didn't really speak to my "friends" at my table. I went to the bathroom as soon as I was done eating, took my sweet time washing my hands, and by time I went out there my dear crush was sitting out there. He glanced up and saw me and then pretended that he never noticed me. I dropped my bag on this raised concrete area we have, grabbed hold of the pole, swung around it so I landed on the ground, and then sat on the table behind him. I was this close to crying, but when I looked into the windows, I saw our reflection and grinned because I was taller! So I was just like, "I'm taller than you!" That smile that melts me every time appeared as he said, "For once." Other than me saying I felt like crap, that was really the extent of our conversation. Unlike with my "friends" (I think they're actually more like fans than friends), he didn't pester me to say what was wrong and I figured he didn't really care, so I didn't tell him. I just enjoyed the silence and almost tears I had. It was easy. He sat there, probably just ignoring the fact that I was sitting behind him, existing and that's really what I wanted someone to do at that moment. Well, I kinda wanted to talk about it, but I'm not complaining about what I got.
It's, like, two thirty in the morning. I'm going to freaking bed. Goodnight!