He's moving.

I...was shocked when he said so. But he seemed so happy about it. One of my friends has been talking bad about him, but right then, he seemed so happy that it took me over. I caught his happiness. At that moment, I wanted to tell my friend that I don't care what she thinks about him... I need a moment of happiness. He's moving May 24. I wanna be able to hold his hand before then. You should have seen him, the mischievous look in his eyes as he said all the things he was going to do to the cars of teachers he doesn't like. I think I nearly laughed at that alone.
My friend is telling me I can't date him. He smokes, drinks, and does pot, she said. We sat in silence for a bit after I looked at her and said "Don't you do all that?" Yes, he does all of that, but Taylor, I do a lot to hurt myself and being with him at lunch is when I'm happiest. Maybe it's stupid of me, but I wanna date him.
Today, I ate only a little so far, but it was fatty foods. 3 cookies. That's all I've had today. I was happier when it was only at lunch. I thinks...I will count calories and every 100 hundred calories will equal 1 cut. That will only be solid food calories. Liquids will be free calories. Which could actually equal more than I wanna think, but it's a small luxury.
I know, me cutting makes you guys upset. But remember, I started this whole thing out as a cutting. It's in my (hehe) blood. I'm just using it to my advantage. To lose weight, to be (finally) lovely), to get people's attention.
You know what I hate? My mom only sees my little brother's problems. Sure, sure I seemed like I ate dinner, Mommy, but it's in the trash in my room. I've been fighting with myself on and off since July. Do you ignore it or not see?
Screw this, I'm gonna do some crunches.