I believe that to be loghved, truly loved, you have to love yourself first. Unless, of course, your me. Then I believe that love has forgotten you, bleeding on the floor begging for its attention.
Today, I realized that I hate myself. I realized that I have a modified version of the same disorder J.P. had. I realized that I was feeding it in July in hoped that I would get sick and she would pay attention to me. Now, I want a connection with her. No...Now, I want wings and to fly.
Now, I wanna be free. I wanna try to be better, more healthy. I know this will always cling to me. I'll slip and barely notice, like I did when I was younger.
I'm not leaving, but I'm sorry to my followers who want to hear about another person starving so you know you're not alone. If this is the life you want, you have my full support. I know what it's like to be here and I hope you guys will be as supportive as you were before in the future and if I decide to starve this weight off again.
I am planning a six day long fast starting the Sunday before Easter and ending the day of Easter.
Lottie, I think most people hate the smell of cigarettes, but I grew up with it and my favorite cousin smoked. The smell makes me think of long, lazy days at my Grammy's house with my parents and cousins. It reminds me of controlled insanity. That's why I love it.
Alright! This is where I shall this post.
Aiming to be healthy and happy is nothing to be ashamed of :D actually I think thats fantastic and I hope you can love the healthy you!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'll back you up 100% no matter what hunnybunches :)
Kinda ironic but the smell of cigarettes feels like home to me too and I absolutely love and miss the smell. <3 stay strong hang in there and remember to stick up that middle finger proudly baby girl
the world can't TOUCH you because you are going to be who you want and live how you want!!!!