I'm giving up on having a set diet-plan. Why? I eat less when I don't have one. It feels more right to not have one. It allows me to mess up without feeling more guilty.
Speaking of guilt and eating, PB makes me feel...not guilty about eating. Like it's okay to do. But then she quits texting me and... I hate myself for eating. This brat seems to be able to control whether my sun shines or dies. Which fails.
Thank you who encourage my desire for a butterfly tattoo. My older brother didn't get why I would want one and threw a fit. Maybe if I said it'd keep me from hurting myself he'd be more fine with it.
Also, I scare myself. Everyday, I get urges to cut...and I wanna give in. Just for that moment of "Ooowww, ow, ow...bliss." It's a beautiful moment for me. But I cannot give in. I must be strong! Have to be!
Today I ate like a fat whore. Yep.
I need sleep, so night.
I know what you mean I usually do too. But then again if I don't I might binge which is even worse. I ate horribly today too, glad you didn't cut though!! <3 stay strong you can do it :)
ReplyDeleteI find that too, but im not good at sticking to plans anyway :P rules are made to be broken! - unfortunately that also applies to my own :/
ReplyDeleteYou can love her without it controling you, try to find more off a balance and you will feel better about it I think :)
Glad you didn't cut :)
Stay strong,
Lottie x
Sometimes set plans don't work for me, because I have tendencies to rebel against "rules". I'm glad that Peanut Butter seems to make you really happy! Does she has a lot of influence over your moods? A butterfly tattoo sounds beautiful, I think you should definitely go for it! It's your life, your body, do what you want. :)
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