Because I really want a break from life. I've felt like that for ages. I've felt the need to be anywhere but where I am for ages. Since I was 13. I'm a whole fifteen years old now. Since before I cut, I felt like I should be not here. I don't know where I'm supposed to be, but I know it's not here.
When I started this blog, I was so happy, so eager, so ready to finally be thinner and accepted. Wow. I've changed a lot. My old posts feel like they were written by someone else. Someone who freaked over 240 calories because they were supposed to be fasting and those calories happened to be solid food. I miss the thirteen-fourteen year old who wanted this so badly that she hated going over 500.
I miss when things were easy.
I miss not wanting to open up.
I miss the time before I.M. made me feel safe.
Oh! I have a picture that describes how I feel about her RIGHT NOW.
Why? Because I really needed her and because she was in a bad mood, she told me she was fine listening to my problems sometimes, but with me it's EVERYDAY. So I quit, I'm done. I'm not telling her anymore.
I'll do like Cassie does, keep calm and don't eat until you're in the hospital, away from everything.
That way the people around you can't hurt you by telling you you're a wreck, not worth their time.
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