Gah!!!

I don't know why, but I can't get the motivation to not eat one day. One tiny day. So, I'll try again later.
Wal-Mart here has their bikinis out. Depressed me because I'm still a huge ball of flub.
My older brother who is, like, 22 was diagnosed as diabetic recently. Which is great. It was a freakin wake up call for my parents to buy healthy foods. They docs put my brother on a 1800 calorie diet. Dad says he thinks that right now he takes in about 3000. WOW. Oh, my brother is autistic and can't speak, that's why it's not a wake up call for him. So, healthy foods being around=less calories in food=easier to stay under calorie limit. Yep, I'm so selfish that I think this is a good thing.
Tomorrow(or today, depending on how technical we are), I'm gonna give this fast one more try and if it don't work, I'll wait until Friday if that doesn't work, last try on Saturday(dance day, AHHH). Since I'm on this note, I think I gained weight, but then again it could be my anxiety problems. The broken scale says 150, but the fact that I fit into my size sevens says less than that... I'm so bleh about it. To be honest, I wish I didn't eat sooo much ever. I want back those days where I was around 200 calories.