Mom's thinking of getting me all natural diet pills. This was after I told her anorexics have usually been abused before and they don't realize what they're doing (though there should be a most at the beginning of this). Should I just be happy that she's gonna get them for me? Or should I have pushed for a not all natural one? I just wanna drop down to 114. Don't ask, I think obsessions run in my family and my current one is 114. Every time I ate today, that ran through my mind. Farther from 114. Tsk, tsk, you know that you got that pound from eating. Ah, I see you ACTUALLY want to be a big fatty! No 114 for you, piggie. And my mom tries to tell me I'm thin enough! I'm not thin! I'm fat, fat, fat! That's why no one's asked me out. Sure, sure, they'll all talk to me, but none find me actually pretty! Why? I'm not thin enough, and won't screw them! I'm going freaking nuts. We've been in school long enough, someone should've asked me, at least, if I was pretty, right? Right, but I'm not so they haven't. I just want someone who will hug me and devote some attention to me when J.P. is being all "OH J.R. you're the coolest thing ever!!" because at those moments I just want to go die. I want someone so I feel like I have to be tiny and pretty and wonderful at their side. I'm tired of all this, of feeling like no one wants me ever. Never ever ever. I'm sorry, I'm ranting again. Really, I don't mean to rant. Here, let's go onto the GOOD things.
Mommy got me whitening strips for my teeth so now they're gonna be all cute and white in about two weeks. That's exciting! J.P. and I are supposedly hanging out this weekend! Man, I miss the days when it was expected that she was coming over for the weekend.
I was going to post pictures today, but I can't find the camera. Curses!
Now, sweeties, I'm gonna hops off.
No comments:
Post a Comment