I feel....Demonic.

Which is my new favorite word so I don't really use it how it's supposed to be used. It means something is really cool/awesome/generally good unless I use it how it's supposed to be used. Okay, now that I'm done explaining my odd word choice on to why I'm posting.
I found a shirt I wore in the THIRD GRADE. I was so fat in the third grade that it fits all baggy. And my mom went on and on about how I was so chubby back then and now I'm not. My thoughts were along the lines of, "If only you saw me through my eyes..." I've gotten really pitiful. Happiest day of my summer? When I got up one day, stepped on the scale and was.... 149 point some stupid number like 8. No joke.
Power to those of you who WANT to lose weight, but for me I don't want to, it just feels...mandatory. Like, you have to be thin to be in high school or some dumb crap like that.
I'm sorry if I rant. My friend told me last night that I can be really stressful and so I had to fake happy even though I felt totally depressed. The things I do for my friends. LUCKILY it was only over text message so it was really hard to pretend I understood, I was happy, I cared. When really, I was slicing open my mouth and back. Yeahh, I don't know why either. Oh and I was drinking soda that way I could actually be happy with her. I was acting like I didn't care that she had ignored at this, like, carnival we went to and that I understood that she had missed her boyfriend soooo muches even though it had only been a week and that it didn't bother me that, even though I'm her best friend, he's more important. But today, I just can't do it. I can't even fake total happiness for her because, quite frankly, I'm not all that happy myself.
Today.... I'm trying to put music on my MP3 player. It's sooo hard to do. I can't think of anything! OH, I'm also....COMMENTING ON BLOGS and stuff today. Because I feel like talking to...people, in general.
OH OH OH! I'm thinking of just eating breakfast this semester because I don't have PE. Yeahhh, I needed a semester of health, so I decided to get it over with.
Calorie intake for today= probably 200-300. Yeahhh, probably should eat a little more.... but it feels good. OH! And I took a long walk today and and and I'm planning on doing some crunches and jumping jacks and push ups. Gosh, look at what these blogs do to me, get me all hyped up when I'm feeling down.
Feel free to suggest songs!
Can't think of anything else that needs to be said, so I'm gonna hop off now!