College

I have not forgotten you, lovelies! I promise.
So, I don't think that my meds are working like they should. Or I'm working around them.
I skip lunch so often. And usually breakfast. I know, you're not supposed to skip breakfast. I went over 200 pounds a couple three four days ago. Superrr pissed with myself. Back down to 199 somehow. I've been trying to raise my self-esteem by saying, out loud, that I'm so cute, the cutest, ect. However, I just had my first speech of the semester recorded and I know. I know I look like hell. I've been trying to do nice things for myself too. I've painted my nails.
Nothing's working, though. So, I keep thinking of things I can cut from my diet. Which could end in...everything.
I have a friend; she much smaller than me, much taller, but still fat. She eats salads. Smothered in cheese and ranch. And I totally sit there and silently judge her. Some times I put a teeny bit on cheese on my salad. And I never smother it with dressing. I drizzle it. Hers end up looking like a mound of ranch and cheese. It bothers me. She bothers me.

I'm sorry that I just ranted about someone else's salad. It's just most people eat salad to, oh I don't know, lose weight. The way she eats them you might as well have three ice cream sandwiches. Oh, and she has dessert with every meal. I do too, but I really need to break myself of it.
I gotta go or I'll be late to class. Talk to you guys soon.
Love,
Alex