the internet.

I like it for so many reasons.
I could be anyone I wanted to be on here. Some girl from California named Emily with sun-kissed skin and blue eyes, a scared little boy with huge green eyes that see to the very depths of your soul, or myself.
I chose myself. A more open version of myself.
I chose who I couldn't be at school.
Tomorrow, school starts again.
Tomorrow, no breakfast, no lunch, just hunger.
Tomorrow, I get to look J.R. in the face, knowing a secret about him that he told me to keep between me, my demons, and Anna. Until he is ready.
Today, characters are forming in my head, waiting until tomorrow, in study hall, to appear on paper.
Today, I'm learning more and more about anorexia.
I want to write about it, even if I'm not living it.
Yesterday, though, yesterday I went shopping.
Yesterday, I got two bras from Victoria's Secret, loads of pants, and some shirts.
Yesterday, Anna was with me and my mom.
Yesterday, I walked so much. It was great.
I'm walking a lot.
That's how I'm burning most of my calories.
My BMI at 130? 21.03099
I'm healthy. In weight. What a hell to be.
97 was one of my goals at one point. Wow. I feel so far. Need to be closer.
J.P., I can and will be 97. I'll see you gasp as I go farther to hell. Bitch. Don't tell me how great 97 is. I can almost taste it myself!



P.S. school is going great, so far. Haha. kinda annoying that I had two days and then basically a week off.