I know I am, so then why? Last year, I almost hated this kid. Now... I grin when he's around, I wondered what it would be like for him to hug me(found out at the game tonight!), I want to tell him everything...So, I know I'm setting myself up to be hurt.
Alright, dude sits, like, two people behind me in health...and we started ACTUALLY talking this year because we had to go outside for this heartrate bull. I got all up in his personal space without realizing it, so when I looked up his head was, like, right freaking there. So, I did what anyone would do, took a couple steps back and said, "Wayy too close."
Now...the football game tonight...was weird. This dude's timing is just...amazing. Like, I got really down during the game and BAM! there he is, cheering me up on accident. And, and, and gosh. I think I laughed too much. His friends invited themselves to our convo when he was trying to make me feel better(or at least figure out what was up), but it was cool, fun. See, we were all sitting on the ground, our legs crossed, and one took my soda. This part is kinda awkward, but had me giggling. See, the one trying to make me feel better reached into his lap (the one who took my soda) to get it when it was by his feet. So...this caused quite afew gay (I mean no offense, just so you guys know) comments. That was the point where he kinda grinned and said he was sorry for making me deal with them. But it was fine, I needed a laugh and that's what happened!
Honestly, I've felt just amazing for the past few days, today topping all of them...so good that I totally forgot about my eating schedule. Dang. See, this is how I know I'm just gonna come CRASHING down one day...soon, probably.
Okay, I mentioned hugging this dude...gosh. It was... I'll admit, not perfect. I think he only hugged me because he figured he couldn't keep me from doing it. It was awkward, like he didn't get very many hugs from random people, but, I think I was imagining this, almost as if he didn't want to let go. Finally, after about a second, I playfully pushed him away and said, "Now get off me!"
I'm saying this is a crush or love or anything, got that? I'm just saying... I let my walls crumble and this is going to end up in severe pains....but I'm really happy right now. He treats me a lot better than some people in my life and we playfully fight all the now and we have his funeral planned (see what we talk about before health?). And it just seems so easy to, you know, forget all the pains of life when you're so happy. But...It'll end one day, won't it? I'll not be able to take it and I'll scream and yell at him and then ignore him. Yeah, it'll probably be my fault because I swear this kid DOESN'T get mad.
Ohkay, first, he said that I should just forgive J.R. Yeah, like that will happen. Then he just told me I should find different friends because I seem lonely...Sadly, I wasn't. I know, I should've been, but I've gotten so used to being alone nowadays that I didn't even really care...but I can't find new friends...because everyone I would be comfortable with, J.R. is already friends with. So, I guess I'll just float through like this. J.P. has realized how much a brat J.R. is, soo...she's kinda mad at him. Though, it'll past soon. I know it. I mean, I have other friends but they all think J.R. is A-OK except this one, we'll say he's W. W don't like J.R. and who am I to blame him? J.R. has only been a jerk to me recently. I even screamed at him tonight. Can't believe it. But I was just... I was totally ticked off. And it felt freaking great! Haha, he stole like a total girl, like seriously. Hip pushed to the side, hand on that hip, the other kept brushing at his bangs as though they were in his face(they never were). It was so funny, now that I'm looking back on it.
Sorry, I sound like a complete goober through this. I don't mean to, honestly, it just...happened.
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